For your Roms in MAME, try "Update List" and make sure that in the advanced config you have it set to "Only Existing Roms". As for the 3D cabs, you can grab those right off the GameEx website and put them in any folder, just make sure you show the path to them in your MAME confige. Here is a linky for 3D cabs - http://www.gameex.net/Download/MediaandImages.aspx