RESOLVED
FWIW I have it working, and now working better than my original DOF (No idea button lights were programmed in PBX).
I had 2 setups. One was my from scratch build, all VPX DOF worked, nothing in PBX.
Second setup was my setup from my old Vpin. Plugin worked, no lights in PBX or VPX.
Started with my first setup, copied over some ini files, duplicated them and renamed them to what worked on old setup. Then I replaced the .COM DLL file and tlb file. Instant success.
So now its just dialing something in to have PBX talk to undercab/speaker/playfield lights as I see some of these are in the dofconfig... not sure why some work now that never did. But for now this is resolved.
TLDR: Replaced the file directoutputcomobject.dll and the plugin snaped to life.