I think I finaally figured it out....
NVIDA control panel.....adjust video settings.....even thought I had this disabled for my ASUS monitor, it was enabled with either the backglass monitor or DMD display monitor...... and windows often reports a different number monitor then what nvidia reports.... so just a lot of confusion on what monitor is what in windows opposed to vpx/NVIDIA and also in vpinballx.....I have generally been aware of this but am just used to it and after a few minutes or trial I get playfield, DMD, backglass on correct monitor.
either way I just set color adjustments to be made by video player, instead of NVIDIA for all displays and after cycling through a bunch of tables, all videos seem to play correctly...... FINALLY!!
Thanks for the help