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Gaming friendships


tthurman

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A great article and very true. I've experienced some great friendships via the forums here and elsewhere. Have lost a few here and there due to misunderstandings or for other reasons - same as in "real life" because they are real. 

I have had the additional bonus of having met Todd and Tom in person. I hope to meet more in time and hopefully under fun circumstances.

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Yep, having established real-life friendships here has only been a bonus to the online friendships.

Years ago we had a group that all played Desert Combat on a regular basis twice weekly.  Finally, we started having big LAN parties in and around the Atlanta area, where we got to know each other.  It was a lot of work (and driving) but I have no regrets as his only served to enhance our online gaming experience.  It made smack talking all the better :D

 

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"Online friendships aren't real" is one of those headlines that is meant to entertains the masses, regardless of truth. It can be hard to explain the benefits of online interactions to those who haven't experience it. It's easier to make fun.

For me, it's about conversing with someone who shares a common interest. I don't have friends who geek out on emulators and retro gaming IRL. This community keeps me plugged in.

I will say however, that online friends are no substitute for the traditional definition. The internet is an added layer of detachment, which can serve the purpose of keeping friends safely at a distance. Traditional friendships have more consequence. That's part of the appeal of online interaction. But it also isolates you. Interestingly, with webcams, headsets, live streaming and so on, the line between face to face and online friendships is blurring; To the point where now, online gaming can serve as therapy for loneliness. I don't think it should replace F2F friends, but it shouldn't carry the stigma it once did. It's an outlet to meet people who share similar interests, which can be therapeutic if you don't have many IRL.

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I prefer F2F to online, and likely that has to do with what was available as I was being raised. Even at work, I prefer a phone to email or IM.

I think that F2F ensures that  both parties are taking a more equitable risk than in a virtual setting. It us much easier to hide one's intentions or motivations online. The "world" in your mind is built by your interactions and imagination. It is safer than the "real world" in that you have to take responsibility for what you say and do.  

I will say that I love my digital friends as I do my physical friends. When a virtual friendship goes south, it hurts the same as in the physical world. I share in their successes, tragedies, triumphs, and disappointments.

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I don't have any analog friends, all mine are digital. :)

i prefer it that way, it makes life easier and I don't have to worry about the occasional pop-in.

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I can see it both ways. 

Sunday is typically the most down day I have, one that is very special to me and one I very much look forward to. 

Today I spent that time with some people who I've become particularly fond of since they became our neighbors.  I've lived separated from my family for decades now, and never really wanted children or even felt responsible enough to have them.  I lost that possibility far before I realized what it was I was losing out on, and now see the wrongs of my ways in so many instances. 

For me at least, the real-life element has to remain at some level to keep everything from becoming even more disjointed than it already is.

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I've played EverQuest since 2001. I met some great people playing that game but by 2005 I was burnt out and quit (first of MANY times I have left and gone back). During that time I got very close to Knarra Warriorkitty. We talked a lot. I called her 2-3 times a week right up to last year. She got very sick and it changed her outlook. She - gently - disconnected  from all her non-physical friends, her Facebook list dropped by 300+ people and she stopped posting to forums. I do not judge her decision since I know how she thinks. This is just something she had to do. My wife and I still exchange emails with her on occasion - maybe once a month and birthday/Christmas - and I will always consider her a close friend.

But wow... 15 years of close friendship from a bunch of pixels is something special. You never know when or where or how it'll happen in your life so treasure it. :)

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